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  • Josh Bokor

Album Review: Coldplay - "Music of the Spheres"

The ninth album from Coldplay features synth pop, spacious electronica, and shimmering electro pop. Music of the Spheres is clearly just an attempt at retaining the band's stadium sized crowd, the band's relevancy, and desires to reach a #1 on the charts... only to do it in the most disingenuous and blatant way imaginable.


Parlophone - 2021

Coldplay certainly need no introduction and deserve that right for sure. The UK quartet have dominated the stratosphere ever since they released their debut record Parachutes in 2000. There are very few rock bands over the past 20 years that have achieved this amount of success like Coldplay have. Each new record from the band has been a different experience attempting different themes and styles resulting in either a massive face plant or victory pose (or both in some cases). I'm one of those Coldplay fans that have had a pleasant but mixed experience in some cases, particularly with full length albums. The band in my opinion have successfully crafted some great records, especially their first four albums: Parachutes, A Rush of Blood to the Head, X&Y, and Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends. Especially Viva la Vida, I would argue and say it's the band's second best work next to Rush of Blood. Hell, I could argue and say it's their best. There is no doubt that the past decade has had some of Coldplay's worst records and songs yet. There were many times where the band were often chasing to retain their stadium audience and attempted to match popular music trends in some of the most nauseating and grating ways possible. But for the most part I've genuinely enjoyed many songs and albums from the band this past decade, especially 2019's Everyday Life, a true breath of fresh air that captured the band's raw energy and experimentation without trying to be super trendy or retaining to the lowest common denominator. Despite its many detours and lack of stylistic cohesion, it's by far the band's best record since Viva la Vida in 2008, which was released over a decade ago.


Now here we go again with a new album, the band's ninth in fact. What will it be like this time? What will it sound like and is it any good? Well let's go through the first question. The new album Music of the Spheres has an ambitious theme and concept. The album is space themed and is centered around a fictional solar system with different planets and stars being named after each track. It's an ambitious undertaking but I think the original concept is cool, especially the album cover (it's gorgeous). Some of the tracks are actually titled legitimately as emojis such as the Earth emoji, Jupiter emoji, heart emoji, and shiny emoji I think (it's a shimmering gleam, maybe?). I don't think I've seen this before on an album but I hate it... it's pretty cringe. I hope this isn't a trend amongst other artists in the future but I wouldn't be surprised honestly. The sounds throughout the record itself are very synth pop, spacious electronica, and shimmering electro pop. The album is produced by Max Martin, a heavyweight pop producer who has recently worked with The Weeknd, Ariana Grande, and Taylor Swift to name a few.


So Josh... you haven't answered the final question: is it any good? Well let's finally get right to it. On this record, Coldplay go through these styles and ventures in the most uninteresting way imaginable. The majority of the songs sound like they are factory made by robots to be purposefully played in a stadium or arena and to sell as many tickets as possible and to be as streamed as much as possible. The band are once again hopping on popular music trends and are attempting to retain their status of relevancy only to do it in the most disingenuous and blatant way imaginable. Case in point, the majority of this record. "Humankind" has the bolstering cheery delivery and shimmering guitars like ones from an Ed Sheeran song ("Castle on the Hill" to be specific). It's trying way too hard to be powerful and moving. The ballads on here are painfully boring, generic, and lifeless. "Let Somebody Go" is a duet between Martin and Selena Gomez and it's a moody pop tune that sounds dated as heck. "Heart Emoji" (that's what I'll call it I guess) is a skeletal ballad that has auto-tuned vocal harmonies from Martin and We Are KING with very muted synths in the background, so muted in fact that you basically just hear the vocals and that's it. Although I appreciate some of the melodies which are very pretty to hear, the tune itself doesn't venture into any interesting territories. It just sits there in its melodies and lays there.


The lead single "Higher Power" is actually pretty enjoyable. The synth pop tune has a great instrumental and pace along with its musical direction. Although the instrumental itself isn't anything new or exciting in the world of modern synth pop, I found myself to be genuinely excited for this record because of it. "People of the Pride" has the arena chugging guitar grooves of a corny Muse song and it's really bad. I mean really, really bad. The horns are a nice touch but they can't save the tune alone. It's an unabashedly take on an alt rock anthem that's sadly 15 years too late. "Biutyful" (yeah... it's spelled like that) has chipmunk lead vocals throughout the track. The horrendous high pitched vocals on top of the shimmering acoustic pop tune is absolutely unbearable. I genuinely love the instrumental and grooves on "∞." It's definitely the band's best attempt at tasteful combination of spacious electronics and pop aesthetics on this record. But for the love of humanity, Coldplay decided to put in these "Olé, Olé, Olé" crowd chants throughout the song which sound like they are coming in straight from a soccer stadium. It sounds like "∞" is unfortunately only created for the sole purpose to be played in stadiums at soccer games and not to be throughly enjoyed on a record. Instrumentally though it's a solid tune... I'm not taking that away from them!


Another thing to note are the interludes. When done right, interludes can provide a nice break in between songs while smoothly gliding into a nice transition in between fuller songs. I think these interludes ("Jupiter emoji," "Shiny emoji," Earth emoji") all succeed in doing this. Unsurprisingly, they are all great because electronic musician/producer Jon Hopkins has had a hand in the production and writing. That's also probably why "∞" is so solid instrumentally is because of his input. But why is Hopkins only attached to a few of these songs, mostly being interludes? I think Music of the Spheres would've been a much more adventurous and interesting listen if Jon Hopkins was the main producer instead of Max Martin. Hopkins has nailed the spacey, atmospheric electronics and modern EDM sound in one of the most tasteful and head turning ways in current electronic music today... why wouldn't you want to include him even more on your record? Ahh, we needed Max Martin more because we have to make hits of course! We desperately need to make a number one hit, right?


Which leads me to the dreaded "My Universe," a bright neon laser blasting synth pop collaboration with one of the biggest names in music today: K-pop idols BTS. Clearly, Coldplay have done this many times in the past. By grabbing a popular artist and hopping on a popular music trend, it's a much greater chance that the song will skyrocket Coldplay to the charts and get a number one hit rather than focusing on actually making an artistically and genuinely great song. That was clearly the game with Avicii on "A Sky Full of Stars," the Chainsmokers on "Something Just Like This," Rhianna on "Princess of China," and Beyoncé on "Hymn for the Weekend." We're at it again with BTS and the synth pop of "My Universe" but this is a whole new level of mediocrity. BTS sound fine on the track and the groove is fine... but that's not the point. The point is that this is Coldplay's most blatant attempt at trading in artistic integrity for a number one hit. I mean they're not even trying to hide it anymore! All of these types of attempts in the past have pretty much resulted as my least favorite Coldplay songs ever. The past times they've done this have all been terrible but this time it's sickening. To make things even worse, "My Universe" is apparently Chris Martin's love song to actress Dakota Johnson (barf).


The album's closing track "Coloratura" is a brightly shimmering diamond in the deep, deep rough. The brilliant ten minute epic has different twists and turns, ranging from prog to cinematic pop at its finest. I've often seen it being described as Pink Floydian and I'm not denying that. It's glorious and complex with its many progressions and details. But as far as it goes for making up the rest of this album, it's too little too late for me. "Coloratura" is a prime example of what the band are clearly capable of doing in terms of successfully being adventurous all while having genuinely great songwriting and performing. But rather than this they decide to stoop so low on nearly the entire thirty minutes prior with mind numbingly redundant synth and electro pop that is clearly just after retaining the band's stadium sized crowd, the band's relevancy, and desires to reach a #1 on the charts (which they successfully and unsurprisingly achieved with "My Universe"). Considering that the band didn't even have a major hit on Everyday Life in 2019 but ended up with a more adventurous, diverse, and creatively captivating album than any of their other albums over the past decade... and a shy two years later they released this album? It's insulting. It's a slap in the face. It's beyond disappointing. This review's gone way too long and I've exhausted my remaining energy, so I think I'm done. I think you get the picture.



My Rating: 4 / 10



Favorite Songs: "Coloratura," "Higher Power," ""


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