Album Review: BLARF - "Film Scores for Films That Don't Exist"

Experimental comedian Eric André's new BLARF album delves into imaginary film scores ranging from elegant sci-fi epics to coked out Tchaikovsky. It's exactly what we need in 2026.

Stones Throw - 2026

Eric André, the comedian, musician, and wacky prankster, cannot be pinned down. You may have seen his antics from his long running show on Adult Swim, The Eric André Show, his pranking on the Jackass inspired film Bad Trip, or his standup. What you may not know about André are his musical endeavors. He studied standup bass at the Berklee School of Music in Boston. He also has a project ridiculously titled BLARF, which is named after a quickly defunct band he was a part of back in the day, has been branded as a solo/collaborative musical project and alter-ego over the years. In 2019, he released Cease & Desist through legendary hip hop label Stones Throw, which is a record full of sample heavy plunderphonics and noise, all while wearing a Ronald McDonald costume. It truly is something to behold.

André hasn't done much with the BLARF project since Cease & Desist but now we have a follow up and in true Eric André fashion, it's not the follow-up anyone has been expecting. His second BLARF album, titled Film Scores for Films That Don't Exist is you guessed it, a collection of original musical pieces that André has beamed up in his mind but not intended for films that already exist. That's not to say that you can't guess what film each song could have been intended for through its overall style and mood. Each song varies, sometimes wildly, but it comes packaged in a neat, thrilling 30 minutes. I like to picture André conducting violently and absurdly in front of a full orchestra, like the album cover is epically visualizing. "The Final Shootout" acts as a theme to a standoff in an old timey Western classic, but with rapidly fast paced percussion and whistling, it feels much more enthralling. "What's for Dinner" is pretty nuts. It starts out as an elegant classical journey that moves with a sharp pace and its performance has a glorious sound to it. It then shifts into a metal rock odyssey with wailing guitars and metal drumming, like something Danny Elfman would do. The song's ending is amazing too. I could see this soundtracking an intense fight scene between André and a giant robot demon or something.

"Stars Without Light" is a lush, beautiful piece that sounds like it would be suited for sci-fi films set in space, like 2001, Interstellar or Gravity. When I say it's gorgeous, I mean it is gorgeous (chef's kiss). Should something this beautiful be included on an Eric André album? Why answer when it's already happened. It's the album's best moment and dare I say, one of the best film pieces I've heard in a long time, and it's not even intended for a real film? Steven Spielberg, get Eric on the line! The ridiculously titled "Piano Concerto No. 0" is a sharp piece that has some sputtering electronic notes over some rising orchestration that boils over into a chaos of explosive guitars, percussion, and what sounds to be André violently hacking a piano with an axe. I'm not even kidding, listen to it for yourself. It's probably the most Eric André thing Eric André has done, to be honest. "Mercury Dripping Down My Spine" is a bizarre, eight minute epic that's perfect for a creepy, intense horror film, maybe one where there are supernatural tendencies or there's something sinister going to happen. There's this blaring noise that pops up every now and again to send chills down your spine, a ticking clock, and weird ambient sounds. The sound design is actually very impressive on headphones and I did even listen to this on a dark late night drive on the highway... so yes, I was a bit spooked.

"Run for Your Death" sounds like the most frantic, crazy, and nerve wracking final boss battle scene I have ever heard. Wailing horns, sinister keys, and insanely fast drumming (which according to Eric is coming from Lightning Bolt's Brian Chippendale) makes you want to run for your life from whatever impending doom is chasing you down. "Dead Ballerina" is a somber piano ballad that's graceful and elegant, and it honestly wouldn't sound half bad in a movie like Ballerina, the latest John Wick spinoff. The album ends with "1869 Overture," which is what would happen if you listened to Tchaikovsky's famous "1812 Overture" but on crack, LSD, and Elmer's glue. It's a perfect finish to the album. Film Scores for Films That Don't Exist is for a lot of people: for those who love film scores, for those who love Eric André's silly, over the top and extreme antics, and for those who love both film scores and Eric André's silly, over the top and extreme antics. I highly recommend giving these thirty minutes a go and I also highly recommend repeating them again and again. Sure, it's a novelty, but it's way more fun, detailed, and entertaining than it needs to be. It doesn't have to go that hard, but I'm totally here for it.

My Rating for an Album Review That Doesn't Exist: Nonexistent Number / 10

Favorite Songs: "Stars Without Light," "What's for Dinner," "Piano Concerto No. 0," "Run for Your Death," "The Final Shootout"